the chloe diaries

Its been a while since my last "Chloe post." Over the last few months, she seemed to get over her terrible twos. She stopped chewing on furniture (with the exception of my parent's patio furniture... see photo below), stopped digging her way to China in my backyard, she decided garages weren't so bad, and my kitchen floor wasn't made of lava after all. She became a relatively well behaved dog....... until now.

That little angel?!! Thats the one. This bad behavior began after spending a week in Dallas at Christmas. The spoiled brat got to be a regular ole' inside dog (I guess its true what they say about being spoiled by grandparents). Upon returning back to Okla., Chloe decided it was time to rebel. The terrible twos may be gone, but I think she's in her teenage years now.

One cold and rainy January day, I left Chloe inside while I went to work. When I came home that afternoon, I assumed she would want to go outside and pee after spending eight hours locked up... I mean, I would if I were her. I opened the door and started to make my way to the back gait (my house doesn't have a door to the backyard, so we have to go out the front door and walk around to the side gait every. single. time. Chloe knows the drill, don't be fooled). Chloe, on the other hand, didn't want to go to the backyard. Instead, she took off running down the street in the pouring rain, stopping often to wag her tail and see if I was coming, then sprinting away again. What a jerk. Luckily, I was still in my work clothes (sarcasm)..... I eventually caught her a few streets over and after a good spanking, I drug her home. I assumed this was a one time thing, giving her the benefit of the doubt.

A few days later, she got lucky enough to come inside at Cole's house for a little bit. When it was time to go back out, she planted her butt on the floor, spread her toes and had to be carried out the door. About a week later, I was bringing her back over to Cole's. When she got out of the car, she went straight to the front door, wanting to go inside. When I told her no and walked to the back gait, she took off prancing down the street, AGAIN. This has happened several more times in the weeks following...... A couple days ago, I got home from work and was planning on changing clothes and heading to Hot Yoga, so I didn't let Chloe inside. I guess she didn't like that too much. She proceeded to sit at the gait and bark her head off. How rude of me! Don't worry, it gets better.

Most people probably think the stuff seen in Marley and Me doesn't happen in real life. Well folks, I'm here to tell you that it does.

On our way back to OKC after a short weekend road trip, Chloe was acting strange. She generally sleeps in the back seat of my truck, nudging my arm to say hello from time to time. This time around, she was panting like crazy, wouldn't sit down, was drooling all over my arm and was driving me INSANE. About halfway through the drive, vomit EVERYWHERE (now Chloe has suffered from motion sickness since she was a puppy, however, I give her doggy dramamine before every trip and until now, it has worked like a charm). I cracked the windows to air the car out, sped my way to the nearest gas station to clean it up, and continued on my way.

When I got off the highway in OKC, I thought we were home free. Thinking I was being nice, I rolled the windows all the way down (she typically loves to stick her head out). At a red light, I smelled something awful. I figured she had farted. But no.... I turned around and she was taking a dump.... IN MY BACK SEAT! What the *%&@, Chloe! She then proceeded to climb out the window, Marley style. I have never been so glad to get home in my life. I still don't know what her problem was, but I pray it never happens again. I continually heard my Uncle Bruce's words going through my head, "Never buy anything with a mouth."

With that said, anyone want a free dog?? Part Great Pyrenees, Aussie, Lab, Irish Wolfhound, Maltese (yes, we got her DNA tested - her grandma was a slut). Loves to chew on metal objects and Christmas lights, attracts ticks like nobody's business, and never, EVER barks at creepy strangers. Will trade for Bernese Mountain Dog.

(juuuust kidding)