The Devil Car

Hiya, Chloe the Great Pyr, here.

My humans keep referring to me as the "Christmas Puppy" and I'm not real sure what that means. I think they are going crazy; they put a tree in the living room, right where I sleep! It's a good thing they found one without a bird nest inside.

But let's back up a little. I have a story to tell.

Have you ever been so scared you nearly pooped? I have. It was a snowy day filled with running and bacon (the best kind of day; I love visiting Grammy Pam). I was happy when it was time to get in the car because that meant we were going home. At home I can come inside and lay on the rug where it's warm.

I love car rides. Or, at least, I did. Until found out how scary they can be.

I was looking out the back window as we rode along when all of a sudden ..... SMACK. Then BANG, right by my face. I fell down, it was awful. It scared the poop out of me. I had to climb over the backseat and get to my humans ASAP so they could hold me and pet me and let me out of the devil car!

But then we just sat. And sat some more. All while being stuck in the devil car. They kept talking about the snow and ice and how slippery and cold it was but I wanted to get out and run home. I have a fur coat, after all. I wouldn't freeze.

Then....get this.....they picked me up and put me inside a HUGE, loud car with only one seat. I had to sit in their laps! It was terrifying. There was a stranger driving. They laughed at me, which made it worse. Luckily the stranger took us home and I got to sleep on the rug.

I think they called it a "tow truck." Terrifying.

I thought my human's learned their lesson after that, but a few days later they put me in a car just like the devil car! It was a different color, but I'm smarter than they think. I knew we were in harm's way, so I hopped over the backseat and stood between them on the arm rest. I tried to tell them it was dangerous, but they kept driving! So I kept standing. I was panting pretty loudly because it was so scary, I thought they would understand, but they didn't. They just laughed.

If they think I'm getting in a devil car again, they're crazy. They can't make me. I think I'd rather cross a bridge (and that's saying a lot!).

If you see my humans, please plead my case. I'd really appreciate it. You can also mention that I'd like scrambled eggs for breakfast on a regular basis and I'd also like more rugs in the house so I don't have to walk on the wood floor. Oh, and a puppy brother.

In the mean time, I'll be sleeping on the rug by the inside tree.

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Please note the wreck was not our fault and no one was hurt. Besides Chloe's mental state, of course. The car had seen better days (notice the wheels going two different directions....), so we got a new one out of the deal. With no hail damage and fewer miles!