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Nothing good ever comes from making others feel bad about what they're eating.
BOOM. Nuff said.
Not really. Actually, I have about a billion thoughts racing around in my head. Angry thoughts, annoyance, defensive remarks, frustration, pride, defeat, guilt, etc. A LOT of thoughts all jumbled up. So I'm about to get real with you and share something that has been on my mind. It has been a touchy subject for me for years. I'll try to get my thoughts on paper (err, screen) in a way that makes sense. This blog post is really more like a therapy session for me, but at least there is a cute outfit and puppy pictures to break it up, ha!
Are you ready? Good. Buckle up!
The topic of fat shaming and skinny shaming is no new thing. Yes, it's terrible to comment negatively on people's body type, regardless of if they are too skinny or too chubby or somewhere in the middle - both sides of the scale (literally) have their own struggles and everyone is hard enough on themselves without extra criticism. We all know that it's rude and hurtful and unnecessary to call attention to those not-so-perfect things. But that's not what I want to talk about today. Today, I'm talking about food shaming.
Why do people care so much what other people eat? WHY?!
As someone who is very dedicated to a healthy lifestyle and eating plan, I am constantly chastised and berated for my food choices, regardless of if I eat a donut or if I eat chicken and veggies. And I've had enough. For the love, let me eat how I want to eat. It doesn't affect anyone but me!
I follow IIFYM (If It Fits Your Macros), so I have a certain amount of proteins, fats and carbs allowed for each day. Sometimes, that allows me room to have a donut. Other times, depending on the day, I only have room to snack on celery and low-fat yogurt. That's the beauty of it - it is flexible and it works for me and my mind and body.
When I do eat that donut, I often times hear,
"Oh yeah, I wish I could eat a donut and still be skinny."
"YOU'RE eating a donut? And I thought you always ate healthy."
Eye roll. If I ate donuts every time I wanted to, I wouldn't be skinny. It's called WORK and balance! If I eat that donut, it means I will be very healthy and strict the rest of the day (like snacking on celery and cutting out other desserts). I also workout almost every.single.day in order to enjoy a donut from time to time without guilt.
But when I hear those comments, the guilt can start to set in. For some people, that feeling of guilt can lead to a mentality of "well, screw it. I might as well keep eating" or it can have negative mental implications of self hate. Either way, its not a nice feeling to have to stand up for treating yourself.
I also hear a lot of,
"Really? Healthy food again? Why won't you just eat pizza like the rest of us?"
"Why can't you just cheat on your diet for once?"
What difference does it make to you? If I don't eat pizza, there is more left over for you to eat, right?! Again, following my IIFYM diet, if I have pizza it pretty much means the rest of my meals that day will be chicken and broccoli with no snacks or desserts. Pizza (or burgers, bbq, etc) isn't always worth ruining the rest of that day's meal plan (which is normally already prepped), so I'd rather just eat my own food and feel good about it. It shouldn't make a difference to anyone but me, but for some reason it does. And when people try to peer pressure me into eating something, it just stresses me out. If I give in, it makes me feel bad about my choices and it offsets me for the day/week. I typically plan cheat meals for weekends when I'm with friends/family, going on a date night and enjoying myself. If I have a cheat meal another time, it isn't worth it because it ruins my plans later in the week or makes them not as enjoyable because I can't indulge.
And I really, REALLY love sticking to plans. Type A all the way.
I kind of have a problem with keeping my cheat meals in check (meaning I go way overboard on sweets......oops), so avoiding unnecessary cheat meals is really important to my overall mental and physical state.
Lately, I've been hearing (in a joking way, but still),
"If you ate unhealthy more often your stomach wouldn't hurt when you splurge."
Really? Encouraging someone to eat unhealthy is never the answer. Regardless of if they are overweight and trying to lose or if they are just maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle. I have some digestive issues and specific foods (high fat) can really rec havoc on me. As much as I'd love to indulge in fatty foods (because they're delicious, duh) it just isn't worth the pain a lot of the time. Again, that is my business and my choice - no one else's. Please note, I am working with a doctor on my digestive issues. I do not need herbal remedies, essential oils or any other form of dietary help at this time.
So, I guess what I'm really saying here, is let people eat how they want to eat. It doesn't affect anyone but them, and every one is different. What works for me might not work for you, and that is OK! Paleo, Macros, Plant-Based, Intuitive Eating, Intermittent Fasting, Vegan, Atkins, Keto, Weight Watchers, Whole30 Beach Body, Gluten Free, Mediterranean - I think at the end of the day if you're putting forth the effort and are happy with the results, that's all you can ask for! No one's eating journey is the same, so let each person decide for themselves.
I also want to point out that people's minds react to food/diets differently. When you comment on someone's food choice, you could trigger bingeing or other eating disorder tendencies without meaning to. Someone can appear healthy on the outside yet still struggle mentally. Other people can appear a little overweight, but they might be happy and content where they are. Please be mindful of this. You never know what type of mental battle people are fighting.
In closing, I want to apologize for complaining. I just had to get these frustrations off my chest and sometimes writing them out can be helpful. I hope it didn't come off rudely or like I was screaming at you. Hopefully this post opened your eyes to food shaming, whether you get shamed or do the shaming yourself! Let's all work together, encourage one another, and work to make the world a healthier place.... because staying healthy is hard enough as is, amirite?
Thanks for sticking with me through this post and letting me word vomit my thoughts and feelings all over the place. Next time I will have a lighter-hearted topic for you! At least Kylo the Mountain Dog brought a smile to your face (I'm assuming) - he is on a weight control diet, too, so he knows aaaaalllll about the struggle :)
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